Springtime Has Lost

Springtime has lost
her gaiety,
drawn over her head
a gray flannel blanket,
hobbled the bright clapper
of her dancing alarm.

Dulled already by rest, she sleeps
until her bones feel she may never
rise again.

Her friends call on her,
wait at her door in silence,
turn away, leaving without her
and with a little of her
lingering gloom.

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About Greg Bryant

I teach writing and literature at Highland Community College in northeast Kansas.
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6 Responses to Springtime Has Lost

  1. bryon says:

    Just the poem the present weather required (“gray flannel blanket”). “Dulled already with rest” has a leaden feel to it; it’s a familiar feeling for pretty much everyone, too, getting us “inside the head,” if you will, of the slumbering spring. You’ve personified the season so well as we wait for it to finally take hold. Very nice, Greg.

  2. Julie says:

    I suppose it’s not appropriate to say BRILLIANT! AGAIN!

    My first response clashes like plaid on paisley with the context of the poem.

    The only word I’m not sure about is “accustomed.” [Note: I changed “accustomed” to “lingering.” -gb]

    I think you could almost delete the last 2 lines, which might alter the form and the meaning, but it would leave the readers scrambling, involved and embedded.

    • Greg says:

      Susan had a problem with “accustomed,” too. I think maybe so do I. I’ve been thinking of “lingering” or “abiding.”

      Taking the last two lines off seems to my ear too abrupt an ending. However, I was considering losing those middle three lines, “Dulled already … never rise again.” Then replacing “accustomed” with “lingering,” rather than “abiding,” if only for the sale of alliteration, but also because it has a sort of decay to it that “abiding” doesn’t.

    • Greg says:

      I originally liked “accustomed” because it was so formal-sounding and dusty, stuck in its place by habit and nothing else. “After great pain a formal feeling comes.” Depressed, stiff. But the word just doesn’t make the sense I wanted it to make. It throws readers off.

    • Greg says:

      What do you think of replacing “Her friends” with “We”?

  3. Julie says:

    Absolutely do not get rid of the middle 3 lines.

    Initially, I liked the omniscient point of view with “Her friends.”

    Actually, it’s such an elegant, delicious poem, I think I’ll just savor the flavors a while before I try to figure out how the particular ingredients were measured, sifted, stirred and baked :-).

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